Category: Let's talk
So I read in the news this morning that a north carolina boy, who was blinded
by a dog attack as a child, is asking for birthday cards. He goes to a public high
school, is part of a club, seems to be a perfectly normal child, but he's asking
for birthday cards from the world as a whole. He was influenced by that toddler
a few months ago who was burned in a house fire and asked for christmas
cards. He does have facial scarring from the attack and from surgery, but I still
don't think that should make this ok. What do you guys think?
Here's the article, sorry its not a link.
http://www.fox32chicago.com/news/87826254-story
He'll probably get lots of cards because people feel sorry for us poor blind people. I don't approve of people cashing in on their disability. Deal with it and get on with your life is what I say.
Right there with you. He's already gotten over a thousand according to the
article.
My first thought when looking at the title was why? Why on earth would you want cards from complete strangers? What purpose can this serve? A toddler does not have the mind to reflect or know the differences between getting something because people care about you and want to express said sentiment through a card.
As a teen, surely you know that, and asking or begging while playing on your disability card is just no!!!
to be fair, the kid who lost her entire family in a house fire and was severely burned is a totally different story to this one....
and also to be fair, he could have asked for loads more, but birthday cards from around the world isn't too bad.
good grief. the purpose of a birthday card is not this. I'd rather have quality than quantity.
I wouldn't do it, but c'est la vit on the free market, I guess.
A friend of mine in college did a paper on how panhandlers were just a feature of the free market, where the transaction was resources in exchange for "good feeling" on the part of the one paying. I've always found that thought interesting.
Personally, I only get upset if I'm being forced, under threat of arms / the government, to comply.
If you've ever known a moocher, and I unfortunately have, you will learn perhaps the hard way that their strategy actually works. On the surface, it doesn't look like it will work. Especially for someone of adolescent age and older. But it does. Best counter strategy, IMHO, is to do like you would around a falling building: stay out of the way.
I wonder how many of the cards he's getting are in Braille.
This sounds like attention seeking behavior.
Agree with post 6 entirely. Asking is still asking!
Yay, thousands of cards he won't be able to read. How ridiculous. I agree that this sounds like a kiddo trying to use his blindness to get his 15 minutes of fame. Barf!
Sounds like some kid using his blindness to get pity. I have no use for that.
Leo, your post put me in mind of the song from Avenue Q that says something like, when you help others, you can't help helping yourself.
He is a teen folks. Probably wanted to see if it work. As teens we do silly stuff just to see what will happen.
that's great if you're doing something that only effects you or your friends. this idiot makes all of us look bad. hey it's the 21st century for heavens sake. if he were a cool teen he'd ask for face book or twitter or whatever the social media do jour is hits. who needs birthday cards?
Sure, I did dumb stuff as a teen, but even by that age I knew not to use my blindness to get pity from others. Why would you even want it?
One of the reasons why I’m a bit of an introvert is that I don’t trust the world at large to view me as equal to them. It began when I was about nine or ten when I started realizing just how the world saw blind people as objects of pity, and sometimes scorn and ridicule. I’m not a warm and fuzzy humanoid in any case, and I really hate, and have always hated, sentimental schlock like this, and frankly it makes me gag when some of us use the blind ticket the way this kid seems to have done. Aside from that, though, I’m also not a huge fan of cards. Most of the time they’re not in Braille, and in virtually all instances, I’m probably gunna get rid of them eventually because to me, they’re so much clutter. You wanna do something for me, get me something I can use like a few gift certificates to my favorite steak house or a few SD cards. And I wouldn’t voluntarily make mmyself into a spectacle like that. But I suppose to each his own and all that shit.
Don't give us ideas. I could use a few gift cards. Smile.
LOL, me to, Wayne.
I'm a bit more disgusted than I thought I'd be. It brings up the inspiration porn thing again, and I hate see its reemergence.
Inspiration porn! Who came up with that one? LOL
A girl from Australia did, but yeah...
And, I already commented on this on his FB. It's disgusting, point blank.
Not sure if it was a particular person, but the disabled community as a whole has coined that term now.
I can't say I'm a big fan of that term, but I get where it came from. Making your self feel good, getting your emotional rocks off, so to speak, at the expense of those with disabilities. I do think it was an Australian woman who originally coined that. I'm thinking her first name is Stella, but I forget the last name.
Wayne... why not send him a card and braille the poor sod some porn?
Her name was Stella Young. You can see her ted talk if you want to.
Something similar, I just saw a news article about a blind girl who sent her class braille valentines cards. I know a fair few blind kids that are doing that, and I think it's cute. But no more cute than sighted kids giving their classmates little cards and gifts...and yet this one makes the news.
I know it might not seem like a big deal, but ultimately these things all contribute to the lowered expectations we face on a daily basis.
I agree with most of what's been said here. I actually can't understand this kid's mindset, mostly because I'm sure we remember all too well how awkward adolescence was, and how embarrassing it was to be thought of as different. So why is this kid making such a spectacle of himself? Does he actually want blind people to be looked down on more as a whole? I doubt he's actually thought that far ahead, but it's still worth considering.
If I had to guess, he probably isn't well liked by his fellow students. He probably
lacks a lot of social skills, evidenced by the role his parents are playing in the
article. Honestly its probably more the parent's fault than his. he's just a kid, he
doesn't know any better. But his parents should, and they probably shelter him.
I mean, look at his reason for not going to the blind school, it was too far away
from his home. That speaks volumes in my opinion.
Maybe he'll look back on all this someday and throw up.
LOL @ Johndy...
Back in elementary school, when the class was expected to exchange Valentine's Day cards, I would make the ones I gave to people a combination of Braille and print, mostly because I knew my using Braille fascinated the other kids. As I got older and could choose who I wanted to give cards to, I just did print, because the childhood fascination had worn off. Thankfully, no bigger deal was made out of my cards than any of the other students. I think part of it was that things didn't tend to go viral in this way. I was just on the cusp of that phenomenon, but graduated right before it hit.
That's something I enjoy though Alicia believe it or not. For example, I bought my friend braille jewelry for Christmas. However, I will not do that anymore because I just figure people appreciate it in the beginning. If I keep giving her braille jewelry, then...
It's beyond me why people here are making such a big deal out of the fact a kid is asking for Braille cards.
Like it or not, Braille is fascinating to those who aren't familiar with it, just as new things are exciting/fascinating whenever we learn about them.
Quite frankly, I'm surprised that more people here don't enjoy making Braille cards/receiving Braille cards from others. Cause to this day, I love receiving Braille cards; anytime someone puts the thought into the fact I can't read print, that's very meaningful.
So, I'm glad this kid, if it's even his doing, is unafraid to speak up for himself and ask for what he wants. After all, shouldn't more adults ask for what they want, all throughout life? Yes they should. It doesn't mean they'll receive everything they ask for, but they sure have a higher chance of doing so if they ask. Cause if they don't ask, they'll never know.
Yes, he should ask for what he wants chelsea, from his family and friends. He
should not, however, go to a national news network and say "Hey, I'm blind,
take pity on me world, and send me birthday cards". we're not upset about the
fact that he got birthday cards. He can sleep on a bed of birthday cards for all I
care. We're upset about the fact that he's using his blindness as leverage to pull
on the heartstrings of the nation as a whole, so that they will take pity on him.
See the difference?
My opinion hasn't changed; I think many of you all could take a page or two out of this kid's book, and learn how to apply them to your own lives. Because, as has been said, why do you all care what a kid you don't know from Adam, is doing? Why do you care that he accepted cards from strangers? Because even though you wouldn't do it, that doesn't mean others wouldn't, nor does it mean you're right and others are wrong. It's simply different than what you lot would do.
I'm flabbergasted. some kid sends braille valentines and this is newsworthy? we have isis or i.s.l. or whatever it is called. we have a dead supreme court justice. weather woes are happening acorss the country and this is the best the media can dO? I sent braille carsds to my class. my blind daughter did it. my sighted son asked me to make him some one year. gosh, if I'd have only known I'd have been a star for fifteen minutes. gee, think I'd rather cure cancer or find the solution for world conflicts.
You're entitled to your opinion, Chelsea, as we all are. Though I admit that in this case, your opinion surprises me. Usually you're the last one to put up with someone using his/her blindness as an excuse to get pity from anyone, particularly the sighted public who we're usually trying to educate to the contrary. So I'm surprised you don't see the issue here. You don't need to, of course, I just hadn't expected it.
Turricane, perhaps the media is looking for a feel-good story in the midst of all the stuff you just listed. Inspiration porn again, of course, but I think that's the excuse they'd come up with for it.
If it’s asking the world to take pity on me because of my blindness, then I’m decidedly not taking a leaf out of this kid’s book. Ain’t no way that’s ever gunna happen. You wanna go ahead and do that, it’s okay by me. But then if you’re doing it and this kid’s doing it, then don’t expect me to take it with any kind of grace. Because if I get some asshole that wants to talk to me about this stupid kid asking for Braille birthday cards from all around the world, and isn’t that a beautiful thing, first of all I don’t have to think so, and second, it’s gunna play havoc with me even to be polite about it. The whole fucking notion gives me either cavities or a sugar coma; I’m not sure which. Maybe both. But this is 2016. Can we possibly get past such touchy-feely bullshit?
Hmmm, last couple of posts I've seen from her...she's been purposely trying to be different. lol
Yeah, a feel good story is a journalist doing a story on someone who's disabled, and not using words like, inspirational, brave, and whatever else we've seen.
how about someone who actually did something for someone else? that would be an inspirational. i'd much rather see a story about a kid who wants to collect food for the animal shelter. or a kid who is running a marathon to cure cancer. this puts the emphasis on the correct syllable as my mom would say. yes junior is blind and yes he can do something.
But imagine if Junior were blind and collecting food for the homeless or doing something like collecting locks of love for cancer patients. Then it's "Oh, what an inspiration! And despite the fact that he is totally blind. Yes, totally blind~!" The fact that he may be fifteen years old is one thing. If he's fifteen years old and blind and doing all these things, then it's ten times the story it probably should be. That I'm not okay with.
Ok, so we can talk about this all day, but what do we do to combat this? Because John's example illustrated it perfectly.
Nothing. As long as people are free to do as they wish you are free to do as you wish.
I suppose you all could write letters to the editor on the subject of such articles, but I doubt it help.
People are going to publish what they think will sell papers, or keep readers interested.
People are going to think what they will think about blind people no matter how many articles you write, but that is an option.
Me, I think I'll just publish how I can use some gift cards.
I remember growing up it would have been taboo for me to give someone something with Braille on it, probably seen as attention-seeking or something.
Then, the 1980s happened: Every jock / football player / studley person wore shirts with Japanese and Chinese writing on them. As I did not match the description of studley or jock myself, I did not act the poseur and wear such clothes.
But here is the question, for those who find Braille unattractive or attention seeking or what have you: What is the reasonable rational difference between people wearing shirts with writing from another continent, entirely unintelligible to them, and people having something with Braille on it that they don't understand either?
Chelsea's right: we're all attracted to things different.
Alicia, "porn" as a suffix has become sort of a thing. There's racecar porn, knife porn, folk musical instrument porn, and so on. Basically anything you can look upon and proverbially, if not sexuallyt, lust after.
I take it this inspiration porn is the disabled equivalent of all the cuter than a cat videos that went around a few years ago.
I've seen "porn" as a suffix for years for stuff people look upon and lust after ... usually way out of their league in terms of price range.
As a future human rights reporter with a planned focus on issues faced by people with disabilities, I am disgusted with that newspaper (and not least for that atrociously-worded title that made it sound like a teen was being attacked by a dog while a toddler looked on and wished for birthday cards... I mean, come on!). John's comments were dead on. This is not the kind of attention we need. In fact, it's counterproductive. I also agree with Cody, though. That kid has probably been raised the way most of us were--sheltered, socially awkward, and unaware of the consequences and implications of our behavior. Notice that the paper didn't even interview the kid; his mom spoke for him as so many of ours do. She probably controls his every move. Grrr, the whole thing makes me furious! The best suggestions I have right now for combatting this type of negative portrayal are to (1) educate as many people as possible about our real capabilities (I actually agree with Wayne that writing letters to the editor of that excuse for a newspaper is a good idea) and (2) reach out to parents of young blind or newly blind children and try to teach them... well, I can't think of any other way to really put it... how not to screw up their kids. I truly believe that we would have a better shot at equality and acceptance if so many of us hadn't been raised so badly.
Also, Leo, I agree with you on a lot of things, but I think you totally and completely missed the point on this one. It's not Braille that's the problem. The problem occurs when blind people get unnecessary praise and attention just for living life. For many of us, Braille isn't anything special or a tool for attention. It's just part of life. It's not us trying to be different, it's just how we freakin' read.
Becky
You know maybe his mom wanted cards from around the world. It make more sense for a seeing person because of the pictures and such.
Post marks.
Just a thought.
I did wonder if someone had put him up to this.
Like many, I tend to prefer stories of someone who sends cards around the world. I think there was this little girl a couple years ago who asked for the names and addresses of I think it was foster kids, maybe it was another group, for the purposes of sending them something. That makes more sense than the almost surreal nature of this one.
I'm guarded and skeptical on these things because the backlash is precisely the kind of attitude that often does happen even to the legitimate recipient of award. I've had enough of that over the decades, from "What makes you think you can wear that uniform?" or "Did you really earn that?"
As a teenager I would have jumped all over this story like many on here. These days, I doubt its authenticity and think we probably don't know everything that's going on here.
Applying a bit of Occam's razor here it doesn't seem likely that a 17-year-old boy is going to go out and ask people for cards. I'm simply nconvinced. And I've been on the south end of a false accusation of "squeezing an inch in" or taking unfair advantage, or however you wish to put it. Both sides of this debate have an agenda, both deserve each other, and the best part would be to put both in a wire cage and suspend it over an arena full of paying spectators, Roman-style.
I get it; we're all animals on the proverbial dunheap fighting for scraps, as evidenced by both sides of this issue. But I won't dignify this situation as anything other than that.
Paper's selling inspiration porn in order to make a profit, aka gain more resources. Disabled people are virtue signaling everywhere, telling the whole world what a bad boy this boy is, and how wonderful they are for not doing the same as he. I'm almost certain there's more to this story than meets the eye. You were 17 once, and if you were gonna ask people for stuff, it wasn't going to be cards. Who knows? Maybe this is some sort of stunt? Some ridiculous childhood dare where you dare to humiliate yourself like the streakers of the 70s or something. My guess, money probably changed hands over this one. I know when I was his age, if some kid in my class was put up to pulling a stunt like this, I would have been all over running a betting ring on the number of cards he was gonna get, or whether he'd be busted for such a thing, r even whether or not the newspaper would take it.
Only difference now is it's the Internet.
But it doesn't matter what may or may not be going on behind the scenes. The story is out there for all the world to see, and it's hurting our cause. You can't just ignore it or write it off as some sort of pathetic spectacle. It's more than that. You can't fail to take a side just because you find the whole thing distasteful. We're right, and they're wrong, and it matters, and you know it.
Becky
Alicia, I don't know why it surprises you that I take the particular side I have, because you don't know me or even talk to me. Also, here is the thing: we don't have the full picture, and never do. That makes all the difference in the world. Not just that, I fail to see why you guys even care.
You don't know this kid, what he's done isn't hurting you, or me, or any other blind person, sighted person, ETC. The kid is probably just being a kid, doing things a kid would do; just like you, every other Zoner here (including myself) once were kids who did things that kids do.
There's no possible way of knowing whether the kid was put up to this, whether he simply wanted to experiment to see what would happen (I probably would've been in that camp as a kid), or something else entirely. Sure a lot of speculation has been made by you all, but it's just speculation. Cause let's face it: it's a lot easier to negatively judge someone for something, than it is to look at what we know of the situation objectively.
I know he's old enough to not be doing such things. he's sixteen, not six.
Chelsea, your post seems reasonable enough to me.
What's going on with that situation has no direct bearing on any of us.
Not true, seeing as it's, ya know, published by a national news network. Of course it affects us. Maybe not as much as some here think, but it does affect our general image. Should we do anything about it, specifically? Probably not. He is free to do as many silly things as he likes. We're not forced to like or agree with it and we can speak out if we want to, but the kid has simply joined the ranks of many others who do similar things to get the warm fuzzies.
Slight correction: Leo, I apologize. I missed the word "direct" in your post on first readthrough. You're right: it won't affect most of us directly.
People tend to have short memory as well, so I suspect if anyone took a negative view, or whatever of the blind due to this, it won't last to long.
I still look at this the same. He's a kid. Nothing lost for me anyway.
He's a kid, for crying outloud. Last time I checked, 16-years-old is still a kid. This means, for those who haven't thought it through, that his brain likely does not think as the brain of some adults here, does. This also means that, maybe down the road, he'll regret it, and feel like the stupid kid you all think he is, or should be, or what have you. Maybe he'll never feel like that, and maybe 10 years down the road you all will still be stewing about what a piss poor decision this kid made along with the claptrap of how he's "negatively affecting the blind community." Who knows? Who cares? Certainly not me, and as I've said, even at my age, I'll freely admit that I'd love to receive Braille anything from people.
Leo, why would giving someone something in Braille be taboo or attention-seeking? When I was in elementary school, Braille cards and things were actually requested by other students. The way they saw it back then, Braille was some kind of secret code that they wanted to see if they could crack. A lot of them had alphabet cards with the print and Braille letters on them, and they'd use the cards to figure out whatever Braille I had given them. It wasn't that I simply gave them something they didn't want or couldn't read. Of course as we grew older their fascination with Braille went away, which was fine with me. Thank God things going viral wasn't around when I was that age, or someone probably would have made some huge deal about it.
Lakeria, you asked what we should do about this. There's nothing we really can do. This kid's free to do as he wants. all we can do is try to educate any in our sphere of sighted family/friends/strangers who hear about this that it's not cute, and that not all of us are this pathetic as blind people. Not in those words, of course. LOL.
You are right Alicia. I come to realize that lately. It's majorly annoying, but life goes on.
What if he could see, would that be the same?
He wants cards from all over the world, so finds a way to ask.
Would that be okay?
As an idea, yes, it would be ok. But I doubt he'd get any. And again, the
problem is not that he wants cards. The problem is that he is using his
blindness, on an international scale, to get something out of pity. So your two
scenarios don't match up.
Problem is he'd have to see and have some other kind of condition like MS or something, in which case he wouldn't ask for Braille cards, naturally, but he might ask for cards around the world because of his MS or whatever. If you can see and there's nothing else wrong with you, you'd get a reaction like: "The fuck you need cards from total strangers for?" No feel-good story in that; he really would be seen as a basket-case.
Completely agree with the last post. What would an able-bodied sighted person get out of asking for cards from around the world? Only because the kid is blind was this sensentionalized the way it was. Although I suppose that it may have caught fire if another disability was involved, too.
As far as Braille being taboo and such, I never experienced that, either. When I was little, I had much the same experience as Shadow Cat did, in that kids were fascinated by what Braille was and what it could do. Of course, by the time I was 9 or 10, that wore off, and I was mercilessly bullied for all my differences, including the fact that I read something weird that no one else did, but before kids get into that stage where they're cruel just for the hell of it, they do want to soak up all they can whenever they're exposed to things that they don't see every day.
Post marks are interesting.
The pictures on the cards and the languages they may contain in the prenting.
The script will be different and the types of paper cards are printed on will be different from other places.
The size, envilopes.
The stamps.
Abled body people collect stuff all the time.
I agree with Wayne in #61... people collect stamps/post cards/magnets/books of
matches etc all the time.
While I personally think that this kid is about 8-10 years too old to be asking for birthday
cards regardless of whether he's blind or sighted or wheelchair bound or orphaned...
however, if it makes him happy and people are willing to send them to him, then all the
more power to him... there's a lot worse projects that people could be spending their
time and energy on.
Wayne, I'll agree with you that there are interesting things in the differences, or simply the fascination of having gotten something from say, another country, or place you've never been or know much about. The problem the rest of us have here isn't that this kid is collecting cards. It's that he's using the blindness card, as it were, to do it. Like Johndy said, if a completely able-bodied kid did this, the rest of the world would think he was nuts, not cute and pitiable.
Alicia I can't grant you a rational reason for why the taboo was what it was. Just people considered the idea of it some kind of attention seeking. I did not institute it. I was merely a kid in that situation.
Wayne's right. The Japanese wife of a friend of mine collected bus passes from various locations. I found out because I was about to throw one away and he told me she'd been asking for everyone's used ones for quite some time.
It was before the Internet so there weren't any virtue signalers to tell us she was making a bad impression of Japanese people in the minds of some white supremacists. Now see how ridiculous that sounds? It sounds ridiculous because it is ridiculous.
Thank you Leo. Right on.
We assume he is using his blindness.
What if he's just blind and wants to collect these cards?
Remember the press wrote this article.
Like others, I cringed and shrugged my shoulders when I first read this article.
Then I got to wondering if the blindness is even the issue at all.
I have no doubt that being attacked by a dog as severely as he was could lead
to some major issues involving mental health and self esteem.
Are he and his family still trying to come to terms with anxiety and fear?
Is depression still an issue for them all?
Are they reaching out for these birthday cards to try to lift his spirits in general?
Was the blindness pointed out simply because it is the disability that people are
able to see and perhaps think they understand?
Until the stigma is lifted around issues involving mental and emotional health,
we may never truly know.